Walking away from toxic; New Beginnings

walking way from toxic; new beginnings

Toxic: adjective

Definition: extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful

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When should you really walk away from toxic? 2020 has been moving MADDD!!!!! and the current pandemic has made It even worse. Like this is not enough, SIS, my emotions and feelings have been all over the place that it had affected my creativity and other important aspects of my life… My feelings this week are different, I feel liberated and at peace, because God has separated me from one of the most toxic work enviroments I have ever encountered (if you know you know, and if you don’t it is good that you don’t lol). I had been mentally and physically overwhelmed and drained for a long time because I knew that this environment was not meant for me and that it had served its purpose in my life.

IF YOU ARE ANYTHING LIKE ME WHEN DRAINED, EVERYTHING ELSE SHUTS DOWN!! THIS MEANS MY BRAIN WAS LITERALLY STUCK AND I COULD NOT DO ANYTHING ELSE. I do commend everyone who can function in Chaos, I Cannot because it disrupts everything around me. I’m still a work in progress and I am challenging myself to focus on everything else that is going great in my life instead of the few things that trigger negative feelings and emotions. With that being said, WE MOVE AND WE GROW……

You walk away from toxic when situations don’t serve you anymore: meaning they have become harmful and detrimental to your mental health. Above all else, when your values are compromised… RUN!!!

Gems I have picked up during this time:

  1. Protect your vulnerability: I have mentioned this so many times, a small circle is the best thing to help you during unprecedented times. Do not share your plans with anyone you absolutely do not trust. The devil is funny, you won’t even realize that sometimes he is using people close to you to speak against any plans that you may have.
  2. Just do, ACT & they can find out later. To piggyback off the first point, no one has to know what you are working on for it to be considered great.
  3. Bussttttt your a*** (behind) until you are where you want to be in life. Job hunting during a pandemic was really hard and turned out to be depressing. (Here are some tips that helped me land a job https://ndelwamwasa.com/re-enter-the-job-market-during-covid-19/ ) Having a great support system, a beautiful tribe & family, are what kept me going.https://ndelwamwasa.com/3-cs-confidant-constituents-comrades/ If you do not have family close to you, surround yourself with loved ones who know what you bring to the table (besides you not having what you want at a given time). The devil knows that when he gets into your mind he has won you over. Do not stop fighting for everything that you want and stay prayed up.
  4. Assess your plans (I say this while holding my ears) in an African household you know what this means!!! PAY ATTENTION & LISTEN… whose plans are you trying to achieve? God’s plans or yours? I will leave this here for the wise. https://ndelwamwasa.com/my-perspective-his-plan/. This point will be another post on its own, BUT the two questions above deserve a well thought out answer.
  5. Utilize a Journal; put your emotions into words. It has helped me in very stressful times and is typically my way of speaking to God. Plug into a church and participate in any challenges/events they have ( fast, join connect groups, use your Bible app). A few of my favorite journals: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1985348705/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o08_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Finally, let me avoid theatrics……. It is critical to change how you pray and God will reward you. It will change your life. God makes things beautiful in his own time. Even when our timelines do not seem to meet our schedule, God is still working behind the scenes. God will always reward a grateful heart and a person that utilizes all that they have. Pray that God’s plans and yours are aligned together and that God releases your mind from the enemy and from the negative thoughts he is using to depress you and or keep you In the same spot. Not only people play mind games, but the devil also plays them twice as hard. God moved me, he is more than capable of doing the same and even more for you. Do not lose hope!

You walk away from toxic when situations don’t serve you anymore: meaning they have become harmful and detrimental to your mental health. Above all else, when your values are compromised…


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I do not know it all, these are only life lessons from me as I continue to grow and learn more.

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